BREACH OF THE NOLAN PRINCIPLES OF PUBLIC OFFICE

Listen folks, we have to absolutely nail this one, so he cannot take it on the chin, it would be a fantastic result to bring him down on this, share wildly, and show his moral compass In a sex romp on the family settee while his wife was in hospital for cancer, the naked Boris grabbed 2 gold cushions and described himself as a custard cream. Boris says he acted with "honesty and integrity." Boris is in Breach of The Nolan Principles on Standards in Public Life:

These are selflessness, integrity, objectivity, accountability, openness, honesty, and leadership. It was not in the public interest to get his girlfriend on taxpayer-funded trips she had no right to, he has not declared a relationship with someone who may benefit from it, he's refused to discuss it, and it's only his zipper that's been open thus far.